Even Dirty Old Men need love!

A comment  from a  follower drew my attention to the fact at the world is full of dirty old men and it occurred to me that they are a much maligned species and need the same amount of love an affection as the rest of us. Let me clarify however that I am not talking about those who interfere  with the young and the otherwise vulnerable who should be castrated then tied to the railings of any convenient public building so we can all throw donkey poo at them.

So what is a dirty old man, or DOM to save me repeatedly typing it? Essentially a DOM is a fourteen year old boy who happens to have stayed  that age for quite a long time now and over the years has acquired  a certain dexterity if not polish at appreciating the pleasures of the well endowed or not overly dressed  female,

or indeed judging by the behaviour of many DOM, any female at all not actually resident in a twilight home.

Being unsophisticated and inexperienced a real  fourteen year old boy tends to nudge his mates and go “Phwoarre “ whenever he sees a girl in a tight tee shirt or tiny skirt,

whereas the embryonic or junior DOM certainly thinks that but his efforts to strangle it at birth means that  it comes out  in a sort of strangulated  whistle. The fully fledged DOM in possession of a bus pass and elasticated trousers (they’re so comfortable!) is happy to nudge complete strangers and give the full phwoarre routine along with raspberry noises and uncalled for strange arm movements.

Both fourteen year old boys and DOM spend a lot of their thinking about all the  things that they would  like to do to any passing totty given half  a chance,

but  circumstances won’t allow them to, so they  deal with this by playing with their willys in a virtuous attempt to  expel all sexual thoughts, and indeed after expelling great ribbons of something else, they tend to be  free of such thoughts for at least three or four minutes .

The big difference between fourteen year old boys and DOM is  subtle one. The boys look at provocatively clad girls and positively revel in their near undress, dreaming of the days when they will be just that bit older and such totty  will be theirs for the taking.

This tends to be what they  think about  when playing  with their  willies .

DOM on the other  hand think it quiet disgusting that these young tartlets should be strutting the pavements  making an exhibition of their pretty little boobs  and cute little bums and giving everybody flashes of underwear when they do the bend and  stretch,

 and convince themselves that:-

(a)  said strumpets would benefit from a good old fashioned across the knee spanking, skirt up and knickers down,

and

(b) that they would be the  best possible person to administer it, and as they have  a clear hour to spare before their bus comes, way not here and now?

This tends to be what they  think about  when playing  with their  willies.

So sincere is the advanced DOM about that that he keeps  a supply of books and magazines on the very subject to of dealing with naughty girls be consulted on a regular basis.

He is not entirely without cultural interests and often can be seen browsing the window of specialist bookshops,

and often imagines that maybe he and his best friend might expand their horizons and go off to somewhere historic and obscure together where they can enjoy  days lying on the beach enjoying the beauties  of nature,

and maybe at night split the cost of having a simple  relaxing massage together,

but that is still yet to happen.

 

So what happens to men between being fourteen and emerging as resplendent fully formed and battle scared DOM? Not a lot. Most of them go through a period  where they learn to keep their politically incorrect thoughts to themselves, even though inside they are still simmering like a pressure cooker. This is called marriage. This rarely works for very long (whatever did I see in her?)

and  then have to endure the messy horror of the first divorce followed by the disappointment of the second marriage which, they went into seriously believing that they had learned from the first and that this time it would  be different. It’s after the second divorce when, like a person who has experienced a cataclysmic hangover they go round clutching their head and chanting “Never again!” and it’s only then that all their pent up thoughts about that secretary he once  threatened to spank,

not to mention the au pair who they were certain was positively gagging for it,

are allowed glorious release and suddenly they can  be their true selves at last . Finally they can stand outside the pub with others of their breed  on a Saturday night  watching all the passing totty who would all benefit from the  attentions of an older and more experienced  man,  and uninhibitedly exchange pwoarres and be happy at last.

He doesn’t know it but  the DOM is a lover of beauty, even if after all these years he still hasn’t leaned appropriate ways of expressing it. He is a force of nature and has illustrious forbears, Jacques Casanova, Frank Harris, Pablo Picasso, Augustus John, and Georges Simenon to name but a few  He may have a bulge in his pants and roving hands but his heart is in the right place, and let us girls be honest, as we sashay past  a building site flashing our thighs and our uplift bras, it wouldn’t be the same without their chorus of approval!