Sexercises

Christmas is behind us with all its TV watching and over eating and getting gently drunk soon after breakfast and in some cases fighting drunk by bed time (well relations  can be a bit of a trial!) The only exercise you got was dodging the straying hands of Uncle Albert from Carshalton, (see my previous post on dirty old men) and frankly you are not quite your sleek self any more. Be honest girls, you still may be looking sexy if a fraction over ripe, but  you  could possibly do with loosing a pound or two to get back to mid season form.

So what you to do? Dieting is a torment, going  back to gym somewhat daunting, and the early morning run a bit too demanding after days of self indulgence. There’s only one answer and  that is to take up Sexercises which are fun, come with guaranteed results, and are likely to improve your social life almost overnight.

A good one to start is spanking your girlfriend for flirting with that good looking guy that you fancied at the Frobisher’s party, and if you do it while people watch it will get you both better  results than going on Tinder.

If step aerobics is your thing then what about repeatedly climbing a step ladder in a short skirt every time there are a couple of impressionable young men about?

It will make you very popular with the men and will burn off a good number of     calories after only  a few of sessions.

What else? Wanking off that guy you  met last year who always takes   for ever to come?

That will work up a good sweat and improve your wrist action for your next hot date.

If you want fresh air as well there’s always going out on your bicycle in a tiny little skirt which guarantees that after you’ve been out for ten minutes you have to pedal like a Tour de France competitor  to get you away from all the men following you in their open cars and calling out all the things they’d like to do to you if only they  could keep up. 

If you’re really serious about getting back in shape there’s that  old tried and tested one, you know, playing  “If you catch me you can spank me” with anyone you like as that will really get the heart  racing as the two of you chase around. If you wan to go for broke then play it with someone you seriously don’t  fancy as that will get you running like an Olympic champion. (Roger Chrichton pulling up  my skirt and getting to see my panties! Yuk!)

Of course if you are a really game girl  you could  arrange a series of dates with all the lovers, casual boyfriends and social stalkers you know  and go on a heavy duty shagathon with them all to seriously get those abdominals back in shape,

and maybe after that persuade someone close to you to give you a sound OTK  spanking should he or she catch you anywhere near a slice of Victoria sponge,

but that is only for the really desperate.

But  if none of the above appeals, simply find a man who likes the voluptuous wench you’ve temporarily become  with your lush Italianate boobs and pinchable bottom and enjoy it while it lasts.  

And that way you can still enjoy a slice of cake afterwards!