Conversation with a martian

Liz              So what else do you want to now about us Earthlings?

 

Martian      Well I’ve noticed that the Earthlings with the soft faces, the ones that you call girls, all have two round lumps on their chests. What are they?

 

 

Liz     They’re called breasts.

 

 

Martian      I can see that you’ve got a pair of them under your top. Can I have a proper look at them?

 

Liz              No you don’t understand. Men are only allowed to see the shape of a girl’s breasts under her top. They’re  not allowed to see them in the flesh

 

Martian      Why’s that/

 

Liz     When a man sees a girl’s bare breasts it has a funny effect  on him. There’s a strange soft little fleshy thing between his legs that just sort of dangles there most  of the time, but when  man sees a girl’s bare breasts he wants to kiss and fondle  them as well,

 

 

 

 and the thing between his legs gets all stiff and hard and it sticks up in the air.

 

 

Martian      That sounds very painful and uncomfortable!

 

Liz              No, men  love it. It makes them feel all happy inside. You can normally tell when a man’s thing is sticking up because he gets a silly smile on his face

 

Martian      So in fact , the more their thing...what’s it called by the way?

 

Liz     It’s got lots of names, way more than I can tell you, but probably the easiest name for it is his cock.

 

Martian      His cock then, So the more a man’s cock is stiff and  sticking up the happier he is, so presumably he wants it to be sticking up all the time.

 

Liz     Well sort of, but in fact as soon as a man’s cock has gone  all hard and sticking up, he’s looking for  different ways to make it go soft and dangly again. It’s very complicated.

 

Martian      Look, I’ll come back to that. The thing is, if having his cock sticking up make him happy’ and if it goes that way because he’s seen a girl’s bare breasts, surely nice girls would let men see her breasts all the time so as  to make them happy.

 

 

Liz     No, quite the opposite. Nice girls would never let a strange man see her bare breasts. Only wicked little strumpets do that. There’s a newspaper called the Sun and for years and years it had photographs on page three  of wicked little strumpets showing their  bare breasts so as to make men happy and to make their cocks stick up.

 

 

 

They’ve stopped doing that now.

 

Martian      So what happened to all those girls?

 

Liz     Their boyfriends all looked at their pictures on page three and said how disgusting it was, but  it still made their cocks go all stiff and hard, so  then they gave their girlfriends a spanking for being wicked little strumpets.

 

Martian      Spanking?  What’s that?

 

Liz     It’s  when a man sits down in a chair or on a couch and he takes a girl across his knee, pulls up her skirt and takes down her knickers, and after telling her how much she deserves what  he’s about to do to her he repeatedly smacks her on her bare bottom.  It’s  a traditional punishment for naughty girls.

 

 

Martian That must be painful

 

Liz     It is, but for  lot of wicked little strumpets it makes them feel the  way  a man feels when his cock goes  big and stiff

 

Martian   This is so confusing. It’s a punishment, but if the girl is a wicked little strumpet it’s likely to make her  feel all nice and happy!

 

Liz     Not all of us, just some of us

 

Martian    Us?

 

Liz    Sorry, I meant them!

 

Martian       On Mars we would call that a Freudian slip.

 

Liz               Well never mind that!  Anyway, after spanking his girlfriend the man’s cock is even stiffer than before so she  will do things to him to help get rid of the stiffness and at the same time he will do things to her which  will sort of explode away the feelings she was getting.

 

Martian      And all this  follows on from the wicked little strumpets allowing men to see their bare breasts. Is there no time when nice girls let men see their bare breasts?

 

Liz     Well if a girl is going to a party the she will probably wear a dress that shows off a lot of her breasts but not all of them. The grander the party  the more of her breasts  she will show.

 

 

 Oh yes, there’s another thing. If the girl goes on holiday to say Greece  or the south of France, on the beach she will let everybody see her bare breasts.

 

 

Martian   Everybody?

 

Liz      Oh yes. There will be hundreds of men on the beach all of them taking sneaky looks at her breasts and pretending not to,  but then it’s OK.

 

Martian    So what does her boyfriend do while all these men are looking at his girlfriend’s bare  breasts with all them having their cocks go big and stiff?

 

 

Liz     He pretends not to notice ,  but secretly he’s quite proud that all these men are looking at his girlfriend’s gorgeous  tits.

Martian   Tits?

Liz      Oh that’s just another  word for them. Anyway, the chances are he’ll get out the sun oil and take ages rubbing it into his girlfriend’s tits for the  sheer pleasure of it.

Martian    But as when men look at girls bare breasts they think about kissing and fondling them which makes their cocks go all big and  stiff , doesn’t rubbing oil into them make the boyfriends cock go even bigger and  harder than ever?

Liz    I’m sure it does , but the man has to pretend that that it's not actually happening so he has to lie on his stomach for bit, or wrap lots of towels round his middle so nobody sees.

Martian    So just as nice girls don’t go round showing their tits, men aren’t suppose to let people know that their cock has gone big and stiff

Liz    Exactly, even though everybody knows it probably has.

Martian      There’s lots of pretending that  goes on down here on Earth isn’t there? Anyway, what we haven’t dealt with is how the man’s cock can be made to go small and soft again. Is that difficult?

Liz     No it’s dead  easy, and there are lots of different ways  of doing it . The man can take his cock in his hand and rub it up and down till lots of creamy stiff spurts out of the end. 

  

That’s called masturbating , or sometimes wanking.

Martian   Is it painful?

Liz     No it feels absolutely wonderful and sweet and all sorts of nice things.

Martian      But if it fees like that....? I mean ,  why don’t men look at  girls bare breasts all the time and then get their cocks to go big and stiff and then.....?

Liz      Wank themselves  off? But they do, every chance they get. Or sometimes they get their girlfriend to do it for them,

or alternatively she can take their cock in their mouth, ease it slowly up and down while gently sucking,  and that will make  the cream shoot out into their mouths.

Martian     Do the girls like doing that?

Liz     Nice girls don’t,  but wicked little strumpets rather enjoy it.

Martian    And wicked little strumpets are the ones who don't mind men looking at their bare breasts and who have to be spanked for it?

Liz     Exactly! But hang on, I haven’t told you about fucking yet.

Fucking is the best and most enjoyable way to make the cream shoot out of men’s cocks. What happens....

Martian     No, wait a moment. So nice girls don’t do any of these things? It’s only wicked little strumpets who show off their bare breasts and who wank and suck their boyfriend’s big stiff cocks.

Liz     Well, it’s a bit more complicated than that. When a man and a woman...

Martian      Can we cut across all this? What sort of girl are you then? Are you a nice girl or are you a wicked  little strumpet?

Liz     Oh I’m definitely a nice girl!

Martian      OK, but purely in the interests of my research.....I mean, would you let me see your bare breasts just so I can get some idea of what they really look like?

Liz     Well ....I suppose in the interests of Earth/Martian  relationships, just for this once I’ll  pull up my tee shirt.....There ! How’s that?

Martian     Phwoarre!

Liz     Sorry?

Martian      Phwoarre !    I don’t know what made me say that, but phwoarre again. What lovely tits you’ve got Elizabeth. And you’re right, I do want to fondle them and kiss them!

Liz     But Martian .....Stop that!   You’re not supposed to be kissing them........but ....Oh that  does feel good!

Martian      But now you’ve  shown me your tits, even if only for research,  doesn’t that means that technically you’re  a wicked little strumpet and I aught to spank you.......

Liz     Hey just stop that will you! Let me go you big bully! And what’s that big thing sticking up between your legs?

Martian    Oh didn’t I tell you? On Mars we have cocks too! Now come here you little baggage.......Purely in the interests of Earth /Martian relationships I just have to  give you a good  spanking........