Ivory Tower

                            Bondage , spanking, and flagellation

Bondage, spanking and flagellation are close relatives, although many of us don't necessarily like all of our relatives, and some of us avoid them at every opportunity.


I'm not into flagellation as its primary object is to cause serious pain, unlike spanking where although the pain is part of it, it's more about ritual and creating a delicious nervous excitement . It’s also about establishing the right of one party to impose their erotic will on the other, and in the process making the little brat on the receiving end contrite and anxious to please.

As spanking generally involves the girl in receipt of this punishment having her panties pulled down and often other clothing being removed as well, once the lesson has been learned it is very easy for her to show her appreciation for being shown the error of her ways.

I think that psychologically bondage is more closely related to spanking than to flagellation as it is more to do with creating nervous anticipation of what is to come rather than the punishment itself. With spanking, the female is held against her will while being punished, even if the punishment is pleasurable and in fact something that at some level she wants to happen. From the first threat of redress to the conclusion she is not quite sure how painful or humiliating it will be, and indeed if it will be too much for her to cope with. As such there is excitement, stimulation, and of course danger. In a perfect world it will hurt just that bit more than she thought it would, so the next time she is threatened with it there will still be a degree of fear and apprehension to give it an edge. Without that essential ingredient the magic is not there.

With bondage the girl is totally helpless, completely at her captor’s mercy and having little idea what he or she might choose to do.

He could produce a rod of punishment or a rod of pleasure. She could be tawsed or teased, or pleasured in ways she did not know existed.

He could simply take himself in hand and bathe her in his excitement, or have her best friend suddenly reveal herself to be penetrated and pleased  in front of her. He could even go as far as producing his own best friend who could help him to take her to places she had never reached before.

Nothing is off limits, but as with giving her a spanking, whatever he does must have an edge to it so that should she find herself tied by him again, it has her aroused even before anything as happened.

Of course, although the problem of getting a man tied and helpless in the first place is not easy, if you are able to achieve that then bondage is an area where the female of the species can get her own back on the male. The stronger and more masculine he is, the more exciting it is to get him whimpering for release. A tried and tested punishment for the male of the species is stop start and very slow masturbation, an exquisite torture which brings the man extraordinary pleasure when release is finally allowed.

(There are at least two passages in Educating Anna where Anna  teases men with this.)

Anyway, the next time you phone for someone in an office to be told, "I'm afraid she's tied up." make a point of taking a few minutes off to imagine just what this could mean. She could be strapped naked across a desk with her panties stuffed in her mouth!